Tag: beginner comedian tips

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How Long Does It Take to Get Good at Stand-Up Comedy?

A student recently asked me, “How long does it take to get good at stand-up?”

Great question. Unfortunately, comedy does not have a black belt system. Nobody watches your 200th open mic, hands you a certificate and says, “Congratulations. You are now funny. On Monday morning you will report to Don’t Tell Comedy.”

The annoying answer is: it depends. But almost everyone gets noticeably better with consistent writing and stage time. In the beginning, you’re learning several skills at once: how to write a joke, how to perform it, how to be comfortable onstage, how to pause for laughs, and how to figure out why the brilliant joke your friends loved received complete silence from 37 strangers and how not to panic about it.

One reason people have wildly different timelines is that “doing stand-up for a year” can mean almost anything. One comic performs twenty times a week, writes constantly and listens back to every set. Another performs once every six weeks, hasn’t rewritten a joke since February and spends most of their creative energy shutting down the bar. Technically, they’ve both been doing comedy for a year.

Your first goal also shouldn’t be “become good.” That’s too vague. Try to get better at specific things. Can you consistently get laughs during a five-minute set? Can you cut unnecessary words? Can you recover when a joke doesn’t work instead of looking like someone just told you your dog died? Can you tell the difference between a joke that needs rewriting and a joke that needs to be taken out back like Old Yeller?

And progress in comedy is annoyingly uneven. You might improve dramatically for six months, then feel stuck for two years. You might suddenly write your best joke ever and then spend two weeks writing material that should be investigated by the local DA. That’s normal. Getting better doesn’t mean every new joke is better than the last one.

The biggest thing you can control is reps with intention. Write. Perform. Record your sets. Listen to them. Notice where people laughed. Deliberately choose one specific change/new line to test during each. Or one new way to say an existing joke. Then do it. Notice where you expected them to laugh and they stared at you. Rewrite. Try it again. Merely standing onstage a lot while people stare at you helps, but repeating the exact same mistakes 300 times is technically experience too.

Also, don’t compare your timeline too closely to another comedian’s. Someone in your class might seem naturally comfortable because they’ve acted for fifteen years. Someone else may write quickly because they’ve been a professional writer. Another person might improve faster because they’re performing constantly. And someone who appears to be crushing after six months might simply have four excellent minutes and be out of comedy in another two years.

So how long does it take to get good at stand-up? Longer than you’d like but less time than you fear. You can absolutely become noticeably funnier within weeks or months of focused practice. Becoming consistently good in different rooms, with different audiences, when you’re tired, when they’re tired, and when the microphone smells suspicious—that takes years. Also as you get better, your standards go up, so you’ll probably never actually be satisfied. That’s a good thing!

Fortunately, you don’t have to wait until you’re “good” to enjoy doing comedy. You’re allowed to be a beginner. You’re allowed to have three good jokes and seven terrible ones. You’re allowed to improve in public. That’s basically the entire business.

So instead of asking, “How long until I’m good?” ask: “Am I better than I was six months ago?” If the answer is yes, keep going. If the answer is no, change how you’re practicing.

Then hop on Amazon and treat yourself to a black belt.

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I Did a Show and Bombed! Am I Fired From Comedy Forever?

Recently, a former student sent me a panicked midnight email: “I did a show and completely bombed. It was awful. Does this mean I should stop doing comedy?”

My answer is: Yes. Your comedy license has been instantly revoked. You have ten days to return your microphone to the nearest Chuckle Hut.

But seriously, every comedian bombs. Beginners bomb. Professionals bomb. Famous comedians whose Netflix specials you watched last night eat it on a semi-regular basis. I bombed twice writing this sentence! The main difference is that experienced comics have bombed so many times that one terrible show doesn’t immediately make them delete their Instagram.

After a bomb, there’s a simple process that always works.

First, get blackout drunk. Second, never think or speak of the set again. Third, rinse and repeat as needed until you’re a superstar.

In reality, try to get back on stage as soon as possible, ideally the same night, even at an open mic. Doing it again will train your nervous system to not go into negativity spirals. The more reps you get, the less each one affects your self-worth. And if you can’t get on another stage the same night, watch a TV show that makes you laugh or something.

Then the next day, start an actual post-mortem. (Which you should do after good shows too!) “I bombed” feels like useful information, but it’s actually just the beginning of the investigation.

After a bad set, I recommend doing something comedians hate doing: wait until you’re slightly less emotional and actually listen to the recording. Where did you lose them? Were there any laughs you forgot about because you were busy remembering the three minutes of pain? What would you change next time? Pick one or two things to work on instead of deciding that your entire comedic identity was a clerical error.

Figure out what kind of bomb you had. Did none of your jokes work? Did your first two jokes fail and then you panic-sped through the next eight? Did jokes that normally work suddenly get nothing? Was everyone else bombing too? Was the audience drunk, tired and/or chatty? It’s somehow possible to have all three things happen at once. Were all thirty people sitting super far from the stage, or was the entire audience four people, three of whom were asleep? (That’s a real show I’ve done!)

If jokes that normally work suddenly stopped working, don’t immediately rewrite your entire act. One audience is one audience. Sometimes the room is bad. Sometimes you went up at the wrong time. Sometimes they just don’t like your face. I’ve had audiences hate me before I finished saying hello. Apparently my eyebrows have range.

On the other hand, if the same joke dies three shows in a row, congratulations: now you have data. Maybe the premise isn’t clear. Maybe the setup takes too long. Maybe you’re stepping on the punchline. Maybe the joke simply isn’t funny enough yet. This is why getting reps matters. One bad set can be random. Multiple bad sets in the same place usually means you should stop blaming Mercury being in retrograde and rewrite or remove the joke.

Also, bombing is its own skill. One of my best skills is what I call “bombing gracefully” where I’m not getting the response I want and deserve, I’m frustrated but the crowd, the other comics and the bookers don’t even realize it. Sometimes making a potentially horrible situation simply an “unremarkable” set is harder to accomplish than getting huge laughs with an already hot crowd.

When you’re new, the first joke doesn’t work and your brain goes: WE’RE DYING. EVACUATE THE BUILDING. Then you start talking faster, stop pausing, abandon your personality and stare at the audience like they’re personally responsible for your mortgage. You also mentally leave the room and do your jokes like someone pulled a string in your back.

With experience, you learn to slow down, acknowledge what’s happening in a funny way, change gears, try different material, and occasionally turn a terrible room into a merely mediocre one. Progress!

And sometimes you did everything reasonably well and still bombed. That’s one of the deeply stupid things about stand-up. You can write, prepare, rehearse and perform something that worked great on Friday, then say virtually the same words Saturday and receive the kind of silence normally reserved for someone reading a will. There are too many variables to judge yourself from one show.

The goal isn’t to reach a point where you never bomb again. If you keep performing, you’re going to bomb again. The goal is to get better on average, bomb less often, recover faster, and learn more when it happens. So no, you’re not fired from comedy forever. Unfortunately, you still have to come back to work tomorrow.

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How to Adjust Your Stand-Up Comedy for International Audiences

One of the questions comedians ask all the time is:

“How do you tailor your comedy for audiences in different countries when everyone’s sense of humor is so different? Or even in different parts of America?

The answer is: less than you probably think… but more than not at all.

You don’t need a completely different act for every country you visit. Nor do you need to fully change it up for Oklahoma vs California. But you also can’t assume that what kills in New York will automatically work in Costa Rica, Scotland, or Tokyo.

Here’s a simple approach that works.

1. Build an Act That Works for Tourists

One of the best testing grounds for international material is performing for tourists.

If a joke consistently works for people visiting from all over the world, there’s a good chance it’ll travel well. On the other hand, if a joke only works because everyone understands a very specific New York reference, it may not be the best choice for an international audience.

That doesn’t mean local jokes are bad. It just means they aren’t always portable.

2. Go Through Your Set and Cut the Risky Material

Before the show, look through your act and ask yourself:

“Would someone who has never been to my city (or country) understand this?”

If the answer is probably not, save that joke for another audience.

You don’t need to throw those jokes away forever. You just want to increase your chances of getting laughs by choosing material that’s easier for everyone to follow.

3. Think About Who You’re Actually Performing For

“International audience” isn’t specific enough.

There can be a huge difference between:

  • Tourists visiting a country
  • Expats who live there
  • Locals who speak English fluently
  • Audiences hearing English as a second language

Those groups often respond very differently.

If English isn’t everyone’s first language, simplify your act. That doesn’t mean making it less funny. It means making it easier to understand.

Choose jokes with clearer setups. Use simpler vocabulary. Avoid unnecessary complexity that makes the audience work harder than they need to.

If you’re performing for native English speakers living abroad, you can usually perform much closer to your regular act while adding a few local observations to acknowledge where you are.

4. Expect Some of Your Predictions to Be Wrong

No matter how much preparation you do, you’ll guess wrong sometimes.

A joke you thought would never work might become the biggest laugh of the night.

A joke you’ve done hundreds of times might suddenly get silence.

That’s normal. Just don’t panic, make a joke about it and keep going.

The goal isn’t to predict everything perfectly. The goal is to pay attention and adjust in real time.

Great comedians don’t just perform their set—they perform that audience.

5. Learn From Every Show

If you’re doing multiple shows in the same city or country —or for similar audiences—don’t treat each performance like it’s happening in a vacuum.

Listen back to your recordings.

Notice what consistently worked, what confused people, and what got a bigger response than expected.

Then make adjustments before the next show.

The fastest way to get better at performing internationally isn’t guessing better. It’s doing more of those shows and making adjustments in between.

The Bottom Line

You don’t need a completely different act for every country you visit.

Instead:

  • Test material that works for a broad range of audiences.
  • Remove jokes that rely on highly local references.
  • Adjust based on who is actually in the room.
  • Stay flexible during the show.
  • Learn from every performance.

The more audiences you perform for, the better you’ll get at recognizing what makes people laugh everywhere—and what only works back home.

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How to Get Back Into Stand-Up Comedy After Taking A Break

Whether you took a couple of weeks off, six months, or somehow blinked and realized it’s been two years since your last set, getting back on stage can feel weird.

Your jokes suddenly feel like they belong to someone else. You vaguely remember your act, but it feels like it happened in another lifetime.

The good news? That’s completely normal.

Here are a few ways to knock the rust off before your next show.

1. Watch Your Most Recent Set

Before you write anything new, watch one or two of your most recent performances.

You’ll remember jokes you forgot you had, tags you stopped saying, and transitions that used to happen naturally. More importantly, you’ll remember what it looked like when you were comfortable on stage.

2. Perform Your Entire Set Out Loud

Don’t just read your notes.

Actually perform your set.

Stand up, talk at full volume, use the pauses, and go through the entire thing from beginning to end.

You’ll probably stumble over a few sections. Good. Better to find those in your living room than in front of an audience.

3. Say Your Set List From Memory

Even if you don’t have time to run your whole act, say your set list out loud.

Just naming the topics in order helps rebuild the mental roadmap of your act.

Instead of wondering, “What comes after the dating joke?” your brain starts reconnecting the pieces before you ever get on stage.

4. Start Preparing a Few Days Early

One mistake comedians make is reviewing their set only on the day of the show.

Instead, start two or three days earlier.

Watch one video of yourself each day leading up to the performance. You don’t even have to study it. Just watch it.

By the time you get on stage, your material won’t feel nearly as distant because your brain has already been thinking about it.

5. Use Open Mics to Get Comfortable Again

If you can hit a couple of open mics before the show, great.

Don’t put pressure on yourself to write ten new jokes.

The goal is simply to get your timing, confidence, and stage instincts back.

Sometimes the biggest thing you’re rebuilding isn’t your material—it’s your rhythm.

6. Take a Comedy Class

If it’s been a while since you’ve performed, sometimes the hardest part isn’t remembering your jokes—it’s getting yourself back into the habit of doing comedy.

A good stand-up comedy class gives you a deadline, regular stage time, and people expecting to see you perform each week. Instead of wondering, “Should I hit an open mic tonight?” you’re already committed.

You’ll also get feedback on what’s working, what’s worth cutting, and whether the “rust” you’re feeling is actually just in your head.

This Is Especially Helpful If You Perform Infrequently

Not every comedian gets on stage every night.

Maybe you’re busy with work or family. Maybe you only perform on weekends. Maybe you produce your own shows. Maybe you perform in another language and those opportunities only come around every few weeks.

Whatever the reason, if you’re regularly going two or three weeks between performances, having a simple “getting back into comedy” routine can make a huge difference.

The Bottom Line

If you’ve been away from stand-up for a while, don’t panic.

Your material is probably in better shape than you think.

Before your next show:

  • Watch one or two recent sets.
  • Run your entire act out loud.
  • Say your set list from memory.
  • Watch a video of yourself each day for a few days before the show.
  • Hit an open mic if you can.

You’ll feel far more prepared than if you simply hope it all comes back once the host says your name.

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Should I Quit Stand-up Comedy?

Recently, a former student emailed asking, “I took a different comedy class (scheduling, sorry!) and the instructor told me my jokes felt ‘old-fashioned’ and wouldn’t work with audiences. Now I’m wondering… does that mean I should just quit?”

A student at one of our packed class graduation shows. (This student is not the one who emailed me.)

My answer: One comedy teacher not liking your jokes does not mean you should quit comedy. (Even if that teacher were me — which it wasn’t. I try to focus on what’s working and how to make it stronger.) All this means is: one comedy teacher didn’t like your jokes. Which is annoying, yes. Possibly useful, perhaps. A divine verdict from the Council of All Laughter? No.

That said, if someone says your jokes feel “old-fashioned,” it’s worth asking what they actually mean. Do they mean the references are dated? The rhythm feels too setup-punchline in a way that sounds written instead of spoken? The premise feels like it belongs to a different era? Or do they just mean, “This isn’t my taste,” but with more confidence and less usefulness?

The better question is not, “Should I quit?” The better question is: what am I really trying to say here, and what is the funny part? Once you know that, you can usually update the joke without betraying yourself. Sometimes one word, one reference, or one sharper angle makes the same idea feel more current. You’re not getting a comedy facelift. You’re just changing the lighting.

And sometimes the answer is: don’t hide the old-fashioned part. Use it. If your style is a little retro, formal, theatrical, cranky, wholesome, vaudevillian, whatever — great. Make that part of the joke. Let the audience know you’re in on it. “I know this sounds like it was written on a telegram, but stay with me.” Now the thing that sounded like a flaw becomes part of your point of view.

So no, don’t quit because one class didn’t click. Quit only if you genuinely don’t enjoy it anymore. But if you still like writing, performing, figuring out what makes people laugh, and occasionally humiliating yourself under fluorescent lighting for personal growth, then keep going. Find the version of your style that works in front of today’s audiences — not because someone told you to become someone else, but because the goal is to become the funniest version of you.

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How To Seem Confident

When starting out in stand-up comedy, it’s hard to feel confident. What if you forget your material? Will the audience laugh or not? You often don’t feel in control. So here are some tips to keep in mind that might help:

– Practice your jokes and whole routine out loud. The first step to coming off confident is feeling prepared. So before you leave your house or get out of your car, say the jokes you plan on saying out loud until you feel you know it. This will help much more than you think.

– Go up on the stage looking at the audience and smile before starting to talk. Let the audience take you in for a couple of seconds before you start. Don’t focus on getting the mic out of the stand. Focus on the audience. This makes them feel like you’re there with them, instead of a puppet whose string was pulled when you start talking.

– Start with a greeting like “hello” not with the word “so” or “ummm.” If you were talking to a new person at a bar, your first word wouldn’t be “so” or “umm” – it’d be “hey” or “hi”. Comedy should feel like talking to a friend or new pal at a bar.

– Talk slower. Confident people talk slowly because they believe what they have to say is so important, people won’t interrupt. Nervous people talk a mile a minute. If you think you’re going too slow, you can still slow down!

– Sound excited about what you’re sharing. While you shouldn’t talk quick and nervously, you should still change the inflection in your voice and sound excited about your material. If your tone is “oh god here are the words that need to be said” you’re screwed.

– Look people in the eye. Or at least look at their forehead, they’ll think you’re making eye contact. People with low confidence look at the floor or over the audience.

– Look at different spots of the audience. But don’t scan nervously. Pick three friendly faces – one in the middle, one a little to the left, and one a little to the right. Pretend like you’re facilitating a four person conversation, where you want everyone to feel included as you’re talking. But not in a nervous “oh god are they still listening or are they now on their phone?!?” sort of way. 

– Take pauses in the middle of sentences, as well as after the punchline. But don’t “freeze” as you wait for laughs, laugh to yourself or do some sort of physical action that matches your bit. A lot of comedy is timing, picking your spots to pause helps increase anticipation of the funny part.

– Mental bonus: Before going up, remind yourself that you’re a funny person, and that it doesn’t matter if the crowd “seems bad” before you – that’s just because they’re waiting for you to make them laugh and you will impose your hilarious will on them.

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Repeating Jokes At Open Mics

Recently a former student emailed asking, “If I stick to one open mic and go weekly, should I focus on trying new material each time, or is it okay to practice the same set a few times, even if it’s the same audience?”

We would recommend do a mix. It’s fine to do the same set (with maybe some minor tweaks) for 3-4 weeks in a row (if you don’t have anything new you’re excited to try).

But we’d avoid doing the exact same set for months on end at the same mic.

Also keep in mind the “audience” usually changes every week, at least partially.

The main thing should be to do a short joke or two at the start that you know is funny, so you can then gauge the rest of the laughs of the set based on that. 

For example, if the joke you know usually works gets an okay laugh, then that level of laugh or higher is what you want for anything new you’re trying.

If a good joke doesn’t land at all, and then no other jokes land, then you know it was just a weird vibe.

If a good joke doesn’t land at all, and then a new joke does land, you might have a really good new joke!

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Comedy Open Mics Recommendations

Recently a former student emailed asking, “Do you have any recommendations for the best open mics for newbies?”

First, to see a current list of open mics, check out badslava.com

Our main recs for open mics are:

  1. Try something new every time. It can be a one word change or a brand new joke, but don’t do the exact same set word for word every time.
  2. Go where it’s convenient for you – aka almost no mic is worth an 80-minute subway ride.
  3. Try a mic, if you like the vibe, keep coming back and become a regular. If you don’t like it, try somewhere else. (But keep in mind the vibe might shift a little week to week.)
  4. If you can find a music mic that allows comedians, those tend to be better because the musicians are “real audience” and not other comedians.
  5. A slight laugh at a mic is usually a good sign.
  6. Have low expectations. The main benefits of a mic are:

a) practicing saying words out loud while people look at you – which makes your delivery different than when you’re talking into your hairbrush at home

b) you meet other comedians and make friends and maybe do their shows

c) you get comfortable with silence, so when you’re in front of real crowds and something doesn’t hit, you don’t panic

d) you see what material to avoid based on what everyone and their mother keeps repeating.

e) working on riffing and being in the moment and thinking on your feet

Notice how the benefits don’t include “getting standing ovations” and “feeling great about comedy” – that’s because most mics will not give you that outcome. But as long as you know in advance, you won’t be disappointed.

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Types of Stand-Up Comedy Spots

Every stand-up show has multiple performers. Even the most popular stand-ups that play 25,000 seat arenas almost always have at least one comedian perform before them to warm up the crowd. But some spots are more prestigious (and higher paying) than others.

Here’s the most common types of spots, split into the two most common types of shows:

Showcase Show Spots:

In NYC and LA, most shows are called “showcase shows” where you have anywhere between 5 and 15 comedians each doing shorter sets.

Emcee: Your host for the night, who usually does a mix of crowd work and material to warm up the crowd for 10-15 minutes at the start of a show, and then comes on-stage between each act to introduce the next comedian. The MC keeps the show running on schedule by timing every comedian and letting them know when to wrap up. Once the show is off and running, the emcee usually keeps the show moving without making more jokes between comedians, unless a comic does poorly, then the emcee will do a short joke to bring the audience back. The host also makes all end-of-show announcements.

Opening: The first comic that the emcee introduces. This is also called “the bullet spot.” The opener continues to warm up the crowd. Note: There are certain jokes that do great later in a show but will do terribly if you’re hosting or opening.

Guest Spot: A spot in the middle of the show that’s usually between 5 and 10 minutes long that is unpaid. “Guest spot” is a fancy way of saying “unpaid spot.”

Paid Spot: A spot on the show that is paid. Usually between 10 and 15 minutes. If you’re unsure whether your spot is a guest or paid spot, that usually means it’s a guest spot.

Check Spot: Considered the hardest spot. This is towards the end of the show when all the tables in the crowd are given their checks to pay. Most people momentarily stop paying attention to the show and examine the bill, get out their wallet, and figure out who owes how much. Some talking occurs. And since not everyone is able to receives their check at the same time, constant talking is heard throughout the check spot. Making it even harder to pull focus.

Closing: A “closer” or “final comedian” or closing spot is different than a headliner spot in that it’s shorter. Because the crowd has seen more comedians by this point, the final comedian will usually do between 10 and 20 minutes. Ideally this comedian is the strongest on the show.

Standard Show Spots:

In most other areas of the country, you get a “standard” comedy show with 3 comedians.

Emcee: Same job as for a showcase show, but easier in that they only have to remember the names of a couple of comedians. Sometimes in the “standard show” the MC will do 10-15 minutes up front and then another 5 minutes before the headliner in order to give audiences a chance to order more drinks or use the bathroom, etc.

Feature: Usually does 20-30 minutes after the MC.

Headliner: At major comedy clubs and theaters, this person’s name is the reason you decided to come. Or if not, they are a seasoned professional who knows how to get consistent laughs. At this point, about 40 minutes into the show, the crowd is nice and liquored up, and ready to rock. The headliner brings the show home for 40 to 60 minutes.

Occasionally at a standard show, there will also be a guest spot doing 5-7 minutes before the feature. Other times, it will just be a host and then the headliner. The main thing this affects is how much time everyone is doing.

Also usually during a standard show, the headliner gets checks dropped on them during the middle of their set.

Related: 5 Types of Beginner Comedy Shows

Related: How To Emcee A Stand-Up Comedy Show

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What To Do When Nobody Laughs

Whether it’s your first time ever on a comedy stage or you’re a stand-up veteran, there’s gonna be an occasional punchline or entire set where the audience barely laughs, doesn’t laugh at all – or it at least feels like they’re not laughing.

So what should you do when the audience doesn’t laugh – besides die a little on the inside? Welcome to the art of bombing gracefully!

DOs:

1. Pause longer.
Keep your face engaged in the joke, but don’t talk. Give the audience an extra second or two to get the joke.

You should only do this if you’ve done the joke dozens of times before and are pretty certain it almost always gets a laugh. if it’s a drunken late-night show, or a very tourist/foreign crowd, this may be enough to get the laugh back. This is easier said than done and requires practice because not talking for one second when nobody is laughing will feel like ten minutes.

2. Admit that a joke missed.
A save line like “Cool I’m never saying that one again,” or “You’re right, that wasn’t funny,” will often get the audience to laugh and let you move on to your next joke gracefully.  

Caution – only do this once. An audience does not want to hear ten versions of “that didn’t work either, huh.”

3. Shift topics.
If an audience doesn’t laugh at a few jokes in a row that are all on the same theme, and you want the rest of the set to go well, be ready to change gears. If you did five jokes in a row about “dating is hard” and they’re not feeling it, try talking about your childhood instead or a completely unrelated topic. For whatever reason, certain audiences will not wanna hear certain topics. Have more material in your head than time you’re alotted on stage so you can shift gears as needed.

4. Shift to crowd work.
If you keep changing topics and still get nothing, perhaps the audience doesn’t want to hear about you. So make it about them for a minute or two. Then slowly bring it back to you.

5. Do your best to close strong.
No matter how awkward most of the set goes, as long as you’re able to close with a few big laughs, people will mostly only remember that. So save your best, most consistent joke for last, that way you’ll keep your confidence even when other material isn’t hitting as hard as you’d like.

DONTs:

1. Don’t get mad at the audience.
It’s not their fault they’re not laughing. (I mean, it is, but it’s also not.) Save the “I hate them” until you’re off stage. Your goal is to amuse them, so keep the internal negativity to a minimum.

2. Don’t have a panic attack.
Even during the best of sets, a punchline or two can miss and the only person who’ll really notice is you. If you keep talking without dwelling on a line or two, you can still have a great set. Even if you have a slow minute or two, as long as you keep talking and smiling without hyperventilating, the odds are you’ll still land your set successfully.

3. Don’t speed up and start talking faster.
Talking super fast is a sign of nervousness and will subconsciously dig a deeper hole with the audience.

4. Don’t keep doing the same joke the same way.
If a joke doesn’t work with a few different audiences, it’s time to cut or rework the joke. The larger an audience is, the more useful their response. It’s a lot harder to get 3 people to laugh (especially if they’re comics) than it is to get 30 or 300 people to laugh. So the better the crowd, the more you should trust them not laughing at a specific line.

Wanna try stand-up comedy yourself? Take our NYC Comedy Class or book a private one-on-one comedy coaching session (in person or via Zoom)